Protect Our Children

I constantly butt my head against the conservative way we protect our children. We all remember the days when at 6 years old we walked alone or with friends the 10 blocks to school, at 8 years old we took the bus without parents across town to piano lessons, at 10 years old we biked wherever we wanted after school. We were given the means and the tools to be alone in the world; we all had some scares, but most of us learned from our scares and survived.

With two kids involved in various activities across my city, I feel more like chauffeur and chaperone than parent. They can't take a public bus by themselves, can't bike more than 2 blocks alone, are just now learning to walk 1 block to the store to buy ice cream. I want to give them more autonomy, but their own fears, their Dad's fears, and society's fears for all children hold them and me back.

I want my girls to grow up to be strong, confident, aware and self-aware, women. I fear we are teaching our kids that it's a big scary world out there, and to see boogy men around every corner whether they are there or not.

There is accidents and violence out there. I know that. I remember seeing my daughter climbing the monkey bars in a park, and getting a sudden gut fear and vision of her falling and landing on her head and taking her unconscious to the hospital. I wanted to scream and drag her off the bars to protect her. But I didn't. I took a deep breath, and prayed it was just irrational fear and not a first-time premonition. And of course she never fell.

As for violence, I've discounted violent stories in the news for years. Not just because they don't touch me directly, but because I'm all too aware how the media sensationalizes every violent act with a child or a pretty girl involved. Scary stories sell more advertising than does discussing actual issues. But right now, I've been seeing or hearing about minor and not so minor acts of violence close to home. Affecting acquaintances. Affecting friends. Which in turn is affecting me.

Protect my kids from harm; protect myself; protect my friends. In that order. And try not to let the need to protect stop any of us from living our lives. From learning.

As parents, we are scared. We wouldn't be loving parents if we weren't scared. But parenting by fear isn't the answer. Protecting our kids from all the world has to offer, including independence and the ability to assess a situation for themselves, is part of living.