...I'm a Lover, I'm a Sinner, I'm a Saint, I do not feel ashamed. (Meredith Brooks)
My ten-year-old daughter told me a story the other day. At school, she and 3 friends decided to start a magazine for their school. First order of business was to come up with a Name for their publication, which they did and all agreed to. The next day, 2 of the friends came up with another Name (I honestly can't remember either Name; they both sounded the same to me while I was driving through traffic). My daughter didn't like Name #2, and said so. The vote was of course a two-way split. And in amongst other friends taking sides and the resulting anger and hostility, my normally conciliatory daughter put her foot down with: "That's it! The magazine was MY idea, and now we're fighting over the Name, so NO-ONE'S allowed to make a magazine anymore." So no-one did.
Wow, my ten-year old is a Bitch. And as much as I used the opportunity to discuss potential conflict resolution strategies with her, deep down, I can't help but be proud.
In business, if a man Decisive and Strong-Willed and gets his own way, he's a Leader. If a woman does the same, she's a Bitch. May be a little simplistic, but this analysis is backed up by an April 7 article in the Globe and Mail, which says if you blow up at work, as a man you should be unrepentant and stick to your guns; as a woman, you should apologize to your co-workers and blame PMS (okay, my analogy not the G&M's).
Are you fucking kidding me? Are we still so threatened in our society by strong decisive woman that we need to make excuses for our Anger, while the guys get off scot free? No way Sista!
I have every right to get angry and pissed off and tell people I am as any Man. I'm allowed to state my opinion and ensure it is heard. I'm allowed to get fed up and walk away. And if that makes me a Bitch, then so be it.
So, since I will be labelled a Bitch simply for having and sticking to my opinions, simply for wanting something and working for it, my only choice is to decide what kind of Bitch I want to be. The kind of Bitch I DON'T want to be, is the sneaky, underhanded, back-stabbing kind. The kind that gets ahead by bringing other people down, that gets her own way at the expense of others, then denies the behaviour. Or worse, claims the outcome is for other people's benefit.
I want what's best for me, what's best for my kids, what's best for my friends, and I'm stupid enough to believe that I'm smart enough to know what's best for all of the above. And I'll be a Bitch and fight for it. And if you stand in my way, I'll tell you exactly what I'm fighting for and why. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong, and I'll listen. But in the end, I'll still be a Bitch.
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1 comment:
I work at a car dealership and everything you said is so true. There are about 5 employees here and only 5 women. If you're sweet and nice, they'll run over you, but if you stand up for yourself, then they think you are in the wrong. It's still a man's world, unfortunately. (Oh, and I'm a single, working mother and these men make at least three times what I do, and I do more actual work than them. I'm not exaggerating.)
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